I must apologize for my previous post.
I realize it makes absolutely no sense. Yet i cannot bring myself to delete it. So there it will hang like a wet cloth next to a dryer. (because i could just as easily delete that post as i could dry a cloth sitting next to a dryer.... did that connection make sense...?? )
I seem to be developing a pattern of writing quite obscurely.
darn
Haven't you ever done something that was just so heart felt and so true, you couldn't get rid of it no matter how awful it was?
If not, you obviously don't own a blog.
because that's pretty much the whole scheme of this thing.
If i didn't put my heart and soul into each one of these posts, most of them would be deleted by now.
because most of the things i type are so silly, but so true to myself i can't just throw them away without feeling anything.
Here's what I'm trying to say: i'm utterly ashamed of my blog posts, yet completely proud of them at the same time. Therefore the delete button goes untouched.
and my blog hangs.
soaking wet with embarrassment
and i believe it will hang there for quite some time.
why do i do this to myself?
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ReplyDeletei think i finally figured it out. i figured out why i feel that i HAVE to comment on EVERY post... because. i envy you. thats it. every little cell in my body have envy of you and for you, because of your deepness, and our soul. and your personality. and your eyes. and the way you write. the way you express your self. the way how every boy has the deepest want of you. how every person has the deepest want FOR you. and to be you. how you use the biggest words. how no one really knows you. how your a game. a game when every one wins. thats why i envy you.
ReplyDeleteand what makes me envy you even more than i should. is because. i can't be you. and even if i tried. to be you. it would be impossible. plus the world doesn't need two of you. having two of you would be no fun. it's fun because there is only one. and every one wants to chase that one around. and around. till they figure out why they envy you.
that's why.