I type to fill the spaces. Hearing the click of the keyboard is better than music. It makes me feel productive, and doesn't make me cry as much. I don't cry anymore.
Crying is for girls, and I've made a discovery, I am not a girl.
Maybe that's why Mr. 3 letters will never like me. A good friend of mine told me I was "one of the guys." Thanks man.
...........I wonder if you know the boy I love and you told him that...
Oh well, it doesn't make a difference. I am a guy. Might as well start acting like one. And that means no crying for me!
When I was a girl I cried.
I cried when my dad would hurt me, I cried when my sisters were hurt, I cried when I hid, and I cried when I didn't stand up for myself or my family.
I cried when we weren't friends anymore.
and I cried when you wrote about me, hurting you.
And i wanted to cry when i wrote this, but I am a boy now.
And boys don't cry.
I cried when I realized I'm no better than my dad. I'm no better than he is.
So i might as well be a boy and just become him.
Just call me Martin Jr.
I am a boy and even worse, I am a boy with no heart. Just like my Senior. You taught me well dad. You taught me well. I guess that makes sense seeing that you are a teacher. And since you are a History teacher, you know that History repeats itself.
Well tip of my hat to you sir. Your history has been repeated. Thanks to me, your heartless son.
So I'll just forget about tears and focus on more manly things, like hurting people.
Because that's what boys do best.
Boys with no heart.
and no friends
and no dad.
I miss my smile.
who am I?
