For someone more beautiful than words could contain.

Today was a regular day.

A regular day where I got up and groaned at the face in the mirror.

A regular day where i held back many a tear.

A regular day where i huffed angrily at a woman i adore

A regular day where i sat near a man whom i always ignore

A regular day where i felt regret. 

A regular day i most likely will forget.

A regular day it was today.  Until it was no longer a regular day.

A regular day it remained to be when i stared at pictures of others having fun.

A regular day it was indeed where i envied everyone

A regular day where i opened my blog to release what was repressed

Then it was not a regular day. Because today i was blessed.

********************************

Today a girl made me sigh.

Today a girl made me laugh.

Today this girl opened my heart and nuzzled herself right inside.

Because today a girl gave me a compliment more meaningful than she could ever understand.

Well, because you see,

Today this girl made me forget the mistakes i see in my mirror.

Today this girl let me release all my tears.

Today this girl even had me eat humble pie

Today i will never forget.

Because today Sarah Janelle Thueson made me cry.  (in a wonderful way---not sadly!)

But what does sadden me is that she could be so kind and not understand that i'm not as wonderful as SHE. 

If only this lovely girl  could understand that i wish to be ANYONE but me.  

Oh couldn't she look in the mirror and see what I see??

Sarah you can be you!!!! why on earth would you ever want to be like me?

I should send my blog to a Dry Cleaning service....

I must apologize for my previous post.

I realize it makes absolutely no sense.  Yet i cannot bring myself to delete it.  So there it will hang like a wet cloth next to a dryer.  (because i could just as easily delete that post as i could dry a cloth sitting next to a dryer.... did that connection make sense...?? )

 I seem to be developing a pattern of writing quite obscurely.

darn


Haven't you ever done something that was just so heart felt and so true, you couldn't get rid of it no matter how awful it was?

If not, you obviously don't own a blog.

 because that's pretty much the whole scheme of this thing.
If i didn't put my heart and soul into each one of these posts, most of them would be deleted by now.

because most of the things i type are so silly, but so true to myself i can't just throw them away without feeling anything.

Here's what I'm trying to say:  i'm utterly ashamed of my blog posts, yet completely proud of them at the same time.  Therefore the delete button goes untouched.




and my blog hangs. 


soaking wet with embarrassment 




























and i believe it will hang there for quite some time.  






why do i do this to myself?