this is what the holidays have commenced.

i have seasonal depression,

and therefore;


I have writers block.  So instead of writing about things that are interesting and you actually want to read, i will write about my problems. (i apologize in advance, feel free to stop reading at any time, i tend to get carried away...)


I haven't talked to my mom in a total of 5 days.

I've never been in this big of a fight with her, and to be honest,

I don't want to apologize.


I mean it's not that i'm not sorry, i really am! It's just, I'm tired of being the first to express my regret.

I am beginning to loathe the taste of humble pie.




and to make it worse....


Our fight is sort of ruining Hanukah. . .  and Christmas too i guess.  So it makes it even more terrible that i chose not to put an end to my family's suffering.

I am a horrible person.




Needless to say, i've cried a lot... so i'm not entirely sure why i said it if it was needless....   


wow my writer's block must be worse than i thought.




But anyway....(not anyways, because that is improper.)


i'm not happy.

In fact. I'm never happy around christmas time (hence my seasonal depression, hence my writers block, hence my incessant complaining)

so maybe i should be complaining about the holidays instead of my ruinous humanity..... hmmm.....









apologies are difficult.